So, this guy is walking through Africa with a guide for several hours and they hear a loud drum beat.  He is worried and asks the guide who says "all is fine".  Two hours later with the same drum beat he asks the guide again who again tells him "all is fine".  Two hours later the guy is now worried that the drum is still there.  But then the drum stops and so does the guide who looks very worried.  "What is wrong?" asks the guy.  "This very very bad" said the guide.  "Drums over!.... That means bass solo is about to begin".

The last time I tripped in my house, my fiend asked me what was wrong with me.  "I tripped over my air guitar" I said.

I was bored so I said "Wow, that's a weird place to put a piano." You wouldn't believe how many people looked around for a piano. I was in an elevator.

"We don't like their sound. Groups of Guitars are on the way out" - some attribute this to Decca Records, 1962, rejecting the Beatles, but there does seem some confusion on the quote.  But the Beatles were rejected

Thank you for calling. Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo while we find an operator to help you.

Elvis is alive.  I sat in the middle between Elvis and Bigfoot on the UFO.

"Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together." -- Mel Brooks 

"Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats." -- Victor Borge, playing to a half-filled house in Flint, Michigan. 

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds." -- Mark Twain 

"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them." -- Richard Strauss 

"Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings." -- Robert Benchley 

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